Advice for Women

Every woman in the dating world has experienced it at some time in their lives—the all-consuming, life-altering, world-crashing, soul-crushing breakup. Romantic breakups are difficult and in some cases, women need to take dramatic steps in order to ease the pain of heartache. There is no easy solution to surviving a breakup, but there are some important breakup tips you must implement to begin the long process of getting over him.

1. Alcohol is not your friend during or immediately after a breakup. But prescription drugs might be in your near future. There is no shame in going to mental health care professionals if you are seriously suffering. Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications were created for a reason. If prescriptions aren’t your thing, invest in naturopathic remedies like valerian, passion flower, chamomile and kava.

2. Relax and treat yourself to warm bubble baths. These are breakup tips that never go out of style.

3. Alcohol is not your friend, but if you must, drink a) outside of your apartment b) with trusted friends c) looking your best.

4. Your cell phone is your worst enemy during a breakup. Do yourself a favor and a) cut your minute plan as far down as you can b) do not take it to work with you c) consider changing your number. One your ex does not have. This is all done to minimize the chances of you dialing your ex repeatedly and/or checking your messages obsessively to see if the ex called. One of the few rules you must follow is: Don’t call him.

5. The radio is not your friend, either. Rest assured, immediately following a breakup, you will hear every single song that reminds you of your relationship. You will hear the song that played on your first date, the song that reminds you of the way you felt when you were together, the song that you used to refer to as “our song.” Turn the radio off. Don’t listen to it. It will mess you up even more than you already are.

6. When you are ready (you don’t want this to be an impulsive thing you will regret later), burn all of his stuff after the breakup. That means everything—pictures, letters, that stupid hat. Everything you don’t burn, give away or sell. You do not want to be sitting amidst all those memories. Get some flammable liquid, put the stuff you are planning on burning in a metal container, and light that match! You won’t be sorry—it is liberating.

7. Approximately half of all people who go through a serious breakup move. Move to another city or another state if you can. At the very least, you won’t have to bump into the ex with his new girlfriend.

8. Rebound relationships work. Don’t listen to those self-help books who say that you can’t get into a relationship after breaking up—those people don’t know what they are talking about. If you are going through a devastating, can’t-breathe-can’t-sleep-can’t-eat breakup, the best thing you can do for yourself is find yourself a better relationship quickly. It puts the brakes on the whole life-falling-apart thing.

9. Buy your good friends thank-you cards in advance, because you’re going to be talking their ears off for a very long time about one thing.

10. Remember: Massages and acupuncture work. But a good therapist or doctor will really help you ease the pain of your breakup.

When going through a breakup, know that you are not alone. Almost every single woman on the planet experiences what you are experiencing right now. Even though it might seem like the pain will never end, trust in those who have been there—it doesn’t last forever.

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