Advice for Women

There is simply no such thing as a perfect relationship. Every relationship has its ups and downs. When the downs outnumber the ups, that’s when there is a real problem. But you may be able to save your relationship before it gets to that point. Here are some common relationship problems and how to deal with them.

Jealousy in Relationships

OK, ‘fess up. Who’s the jealous one—you or him? If it’s him, that could lead to some real issues down the line. Everyone gets jealous from time to time. It’s human nature and nothing to be embarrassed about. But if your boyfriend is getting overly jealous to the point where he won’t leave you alone, this could be a sign of a controlling relationship. Jealous and controlling men are very insecure people and no amount of reassuring you do will change that. Talk to a professional if you’re afraid your jealous boyfriend is too jealous for you to deal with.

If you’re the jealous one, remind yourself of a few things. One, he’s with you, isn’t he? He is with you because he loves you and wants to be with you. If he really wanted to be with another girl, he would do it. Take some deep breaths and remind yourself that you’re his girlfriend. Not his parole officer. 

Not Enough Time in Your Relationship

If two people are working full-time, it might be hard to get time away to work on the relationship. But don’t give up. If your man likes to spend a night or two with the boys and a night or two alone to decompress, let him. There is no way the relationship will work if you constantly nag that you don’t spend enough time together.

Instead, make the time you do spend together count. Let your boyfriend know how much fun you have with him. Spend the precious time you have with him by loving him, not yelling at him. If he’s having a good time with you, chances are he’ll want to make more time in his life for you. 

Relationship Problems With the Family

Maybe you hate his mother. Maybe his mother hates you. Maybe your dad has vowed to never accept your boyfriend until he cuts his hair.

The fact is, we probably won’t please everyone in our choices of mates. Your friends and family want the best for you. They think the world of you, and for them, it’s possible that no one will ever be good enough for you.

The same goes with men. Their friends and family want the best for them, and even if you think you’re the best for them, they might not necessarily think so.

Spending more time as a couple together with friends and family might ease tensions. But never fool yourself into thinking that what family and friends think don’t matter. They do. Family and friends are a part of everyone’s life. They were there before you were a couple, and they’ll be there if you decide to break up. Some problems are insurmountable. If you’re facing disapproval from all around you, it’s going to be very difficult to have a stable relationship. Consider talking to a professional if the issues become too great for you to handle. 

Couples Who Come From Different Backgrounds

Are you rich and he’s poor? Is he black and you’re white? Are you Jewish and he’s Catholic?

People from different backgrounds get together all the time. Some of them don’t last because pressure from family is too great. If a man has to choose between his family and you, he might just go with the people who have raised him from birth.

But couples who come from different backgrounds can find everlasting love if they’re each tolerant and respectful of each other’s backgrounds. If things like money, race and religion don’t matter to people, then they definitely have a good chance of having successful relationships with people from different backgrounds. The truth, however, is that people’s race and religion and socioeconomic background do matter to a lot of people. If these things matter to you and your boyfriend, it’s best to be completely honest with yourself and with him, and have a heart-to-heart talk. If each person recognizes the hurdles the other person must face, and both people decide that the love is worth it, then it can definitely work.

When dealing with problems in relationships, remember that one of the keys to every successful relationship is honesty and respect. Be honest with your feelings. Don’t ignore them. They’re not going to go away on their own.

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